Kissing: Gluten Free

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow and I’m sure there will be a lot of extra kissing happening. The big question is, how can one ensure that his/her partner has a kissable Gluten Free mouth?

There isn’t a lot of discussion or scientific information about being Gluten Free and kissing, or other intimate physical contact involving the mouth, but there should be. Kissing, like eating is a fundamental human behavior. It happens between friends, family and intimate partners. It’s a sign of love, trust and connection. So, what are the best ways to keep this act safe for those who can get sick from a very small amount of Gluten? What are the best ways to remove Gluten from the mouth? Is a good rinse enough? Can one get sick from kissing someone who has gluten in their make-up or body lotion? In addition to the physical act of removing Gluten, there is an emotional part. There are a lot of layers that complicate kissing and being Gluten Free because it involves a few very important aspects in life: physical intimacy, honesty, what is put in and on the body and trust in other people.

The first challenge comes before any physical contact occurs. It involves honest conversations that can be hard to have; it’s the “Gluten Free Talk.” Some find it easy to share their Gluten Free needs and are very up front about it. While others find it difficult to be open about their health and dietary needs, especially with someone they’ve just met because of possible past negative judgment. If you find it difficult to share your story with someone new, one suggestion would be to create a non-food centered date or activity to figure out if that person is safe enough and worth the energy to hear your Gluten Free story and health needs.

Even with friends and family, it’s important to remember that someone who is Gluten Free might avoid a lip or cheek kiss hello or goodbye. This was an important idea for me, when we went Gluten Free with my daughter. While she wasn’t old enough to wear make-up on her own face, I occasionally did and do. My main goal has been to make her GF safe zone as large as possible with the hopes of decreasing as much worry and anxiety as possible; this included removing all Gluten from, not only our kitchen, but our bathrooms and my make-up drawer as well. I want my (and the rest of my family’s) lips and cheeks to be safe places for her to give or receive a kiss without worry.

One group of people who have, I think, the hardest time with navigating relationships with new people, friends, the dating world and having the “Gluten Free Talk” are young people. They are trying to not only figure out their life Gluten Free but also what it’s like to have healthy and fun relationships, including intimate relationships, with someone else. Both are individually hard to navigate and even harder together. All they want is to be like their friends, to not stick out too much and to have fun.

If you have a young person in your life who is Gluten Free, do what you can to help them navigate the process. Help them figure out what their “Gluten Free Talk” might be like. Help them find safe restaurants if they want to go out on a date. Seek out teenage Celiac support groups; it could be a freeing experience if they met someone, started to date and learned about being in intimate relationships with someone else who has Celiac disease!

All that being said, the process of navigating intimate relationships with other people and your Gluten Free needs, regardless of your age, can lead to something very profound. It’s an amazing opportunity to learn more about healthy relationships and your inner strength. If someone isn’t ready or can’t be respectful of your Gluten Free needs, that person isn’t right for you. How many times have we been in relationships with people and put up with them not fully supporting us or truly accepting our needs, whatever that may be? Compromising for others doesn’t feel good and can chip away at our self worth. If a person can’t support another’s Gluten Free needs, it’s a huge red flag. Learning how to see and act when a red flag appears is an amazing life lesson to learn; I wish I had learned that lesson younger than I did. Health and safety is paramount and should not be compromised.

Creating a kissable Gluten Free mouth, or other body part, isn’t very hard and is definitely worth the effort for yourself and/or your loved ones. Switching my make-up was an easy and simple task that has not only helped to keep my daughter healthy, it’s given her an example of what being supported and respected looks and feels like. Asking your potential kissing person to brush their teeth after a Gluten filled meal or to share in a Gluten Free meal shouldn’t be an issue if they want to be with you and are supportive of your health and wellbeing. Kissing can cause exciting butterflies in our stomaches, but they should be the good butterflies, not the stressed, anxious I might literally throw-up butterflies. For those of you who have loved ones that are Gluten Free, making an effort and being supportive of their Gluten Free needs goes a long way and is an amazing way to show them your love.

Here are some ideas to create a Gluten Free Pucker-Up ready mouth:

1) Remember that each person who is Gluten Free will have their own idea of what makes them comfortable. Just because a good rinse or time away from food/drinks was ok for one person who is Gluten Free doesn’t mean that it is ok for someone else. Having the “Gluten Free Talk” will create space for both parties to work together in creating what works for both of them.

2) Wear Gluten Free make-up and other skin products.

3) If you go out to dinner, both people can eat Gluten Free.

4) If Gluten is consumed, I feel, that a rinse is not enough. Give the teeth and mouth a good brush with Gluten Free toothpaste.

5) Time can remove Gluten from the mouth as well, but if you don’t know how long it’s been, ask the person. They can either brush their teeth if it was recent or skip the brushing if you’re comfortable that it’s been long enough. It’s your call.

6) If you want to go out to a party, with the hopes of kissing a new person. Bring a new travel or single use toothbrush and tooth paste with you. When you find someone you’d like to kiss, they can quickly take care of business and you can kiss all you want. (I picked this advice up from a college student who still wanted to go to parties and kiss people. This person found it to actually be pretty easy, was well received and has been successful.)

The most important part of kissing Gluten Free is figuring out what makes you the most comfortable and being clear about your comfort zone with your loved ones. Each individual will have a different definition of what makes them feel comfortable and safe when it comes to being in physically intimate relationships, and that’s ok and needs to be respected.

Happy Valentines Day!

Happy Kissing!

Disclaimer:

While we have nearly ten years’ experience of navigating the world as the parent of a child with Celiac Disease, we are not physicians, nutritionists, or other licensed medical professionals. The material and content contained in the Services is for informational purposes only and are not intended to serve as a substitute for consultation, diagnosis or medical treatment by a licensed medical professional. Please consult your doctor for any medical or health-related questions. The information contained in the Services should NOT be used to disregard medical or health-related advice from a physician or licensed medical professional.