Re-Entering The Gluten Filled World

With people getting vaccinated and being able to re-enter the world, the stress that comes with eating outside the home is back.

While I desperately missed traveling, eating out and celebrating with friends/family, the break from the worry about getting glutened was ok. For us, getting glutened is a very traumatic experience and one that I work very hard to avoid.

Interestingly, the break from the worry and anxiety has given me a new perspective. With the stress gone for the past year, and now coming back as we slowly re-enter the world, I can see the stress, the high level of anxiety and how crazy I can feel on the inside when I don’t have as much control of the situation, and her safety, as I want.

We are not new to navigating life with celiac disease, we’ve been doing this for more than 11 years and have great systems in place, but with all my efforts to keep my daughter safe and healthy while also traveling, experiencing new things and figuring out how to navigate life with celiac, I was head down with a narrow perspective. I never really took a step back to see and understand how stressful it has been and is. While I can’t eliminate all the stress, living a strict gluten free life is hard, now that I can see and feel the anxiety in a new way, I can proactively minimize the effect on me, my daughter and the whole family.

Following, are a few thoughts and ideas that may help decrease the stress and anxiety that comes with leaving the safety and controllable space in your home. I don’t want stress or feeling overwhelmed to get in the way of your life.

~Anxiety & stress~

Acknowledge the anxiety and stress, it is very real! Even saying “I’m feeling worried and stressed out about (insert food situation)” out loud is powerful. Being able to name feelings is known to decrease and diffuse the negative emotional charge.

For example, me taking a deep breath and saying “I’m feeling stressed out and overwhelmed because my son can eat the pizza at this party and my daughter can’t” gives me a little space to diffuse the emotions, not get caught up in my own whirlwind of feelings and can better support my daughter.

While I do try to be prepared with gluten free food equivalents, unexpected food situation do happen and we need to roll with them. Trust me, when she can’t have what others are having, because of her having celiac, and she is feeling all of her feelings, I get triggered. I’m her mom and her strict gluten free needs makes her life harder, but me wishing that the reality was different, doesn’t help anyone, especially her.

~Invited to an event?~

One skill that has been strengthened, for me, during this pandemic is the ability to communicate health needs and being more thoughtful about establishing and maintaining boundaries. Speaking with the host or the person who knows what the menu will be, before the event, gives you the ability to decide what is best for you and how you want to proceed. Maybe you eat before/after, bring your own food, offer to bring a dish to share or politely decline.

No, you are not “needy” or “high maintenance” by expressing what you or your family needs to stay healthy!

The upside of no events and parties, this past year, is that we didn’t have to deal with “obligation” events. “Obligation” events are the situations that you are invited to or expected to attend, for whatever reason, but you may not have felt supported or you didn’t want to go and felt that you had to say “yes.” It is ok to not include these events back in your life; feeling obligated can be exhausting and stressful. If you are like me and feel more confident in setting health related boundaries, we can use that strength to say “no” to situations that we don’t really want to be part of. Not feeling that your health needs are being supported is a good reason to not participate. Others may have a hard time understanding, but it’s ok to say “no thank you” to an invitation.

~Restaurants~

The restaurant landscape may look different, some safe favorites may not have made it, but there are restaurants out there that can and want to prepare and serve safe food. Don’t wait for the last minute to figure out if a place can serve safe food, do a little research online and make a few calls. It is less stressful, you’ll feel more in control and be better prepared when you know what the situation is going to be like beforehand. Also, if you already know about a few places that can serve safe food you can suggest going to one of them.

Click here to read more about going out to restaurants and communicating your gluten free needs.

Some restaurants won’t be able to meet your dietary needs and will be honest about it. While it would be great if all restaurants were safe, I’m always happy when they tell me, up front, that they can’t do it. It saves time and energy, both physical and emotional.

When I see cautionary disclaimers on menus from bakeries and pizza places, like the examples above, I believe them and don’t even bother with more investigation. When I see similar disclaimers on a restaurant’s menu that has a lot of naturally gluten free options, I will call and get more information. Some shared kitchens can prepare and serve safe gluten free food.

For example, there is a French Bistro near my house. They have a couple menu options that contain gluten, but they aren’t baking bread and wheat flour isn’t airborne. They are honest and up-front about their kitchen not being dedicated gluten free, but have a dedicated fryer for french fries, offer a gluten free bun and understand how to prepare and serve safe food.

~Patience & Grace~

Ultimately, your needs are what come first and what you need may not be what others need and that is ok, even if they don’t understand. Maybe you aren’t ready to go to someone’s dinner party or to try out a new restaurant. It takes a certain amount of time and energy to figure out if a situation can meet your needs and maybe you don’t have enough of either, right now; give yourself a lot of patience and grace.

Hopefully these ideas can help decrease the stress and other overwhelming feelings that come with managing a strict gluten free life outside of the home.

If you would like additional support navigating living Gluten Free…

Disclaimer:

While we have more than eleven years’ experience of navigating the world as the parents of a child with Celiacs, we are not physicians, nutritionists, or other licensed medical professionals. The material and content contained in the Services is for informational purposes only and are not intended to serve as a substitute for consultation, diagnosis or medical treatment by a licensed medical professional. Please consult your doctor for any medical or health-related questions. The information contained in the Services should NOT be used to disregard medical or health-related advice from a physician or licensed medical professional.